| The Quote Book
Compiled by:
In late 1974 or early 1975, Barry Lewis, an engineer at McDonnell Douglas in Houston, Texas, began a collection of quotes that he kept in a handwritten notebook. When he left the company in June of 1976, he left a copy of his notebook with Tom Rich who then enthusiastically took up the task of adding to it. In 1978, when Tom's work took him to another group, I began my own notebook of quotes and included in it much of the material accumulated by Barry and Tom up to that time. I have maintained the notebook until the present and so it contains material gathered over a period of approximately nineteen years. The notebook eventually became known as simply The Quote Book. Many of the quotes in this book are innocent statements made in conversations that were often part of the everyday work involved in designing the navigation and guidance systems for the Space Shuttle and the Space Station. Others were made in those unavoidable conversations that spontaneously arise between the spurts of productive work. These, from this second group, cover an amazingly diverse range of topics. My process for choosing quotes for this book has been somewhat selective. To be recorded, a statement usually must transcend the conversation; it should be humorous or profound, even when removed from its context. Oftimes a quotable statement has been overheard in a conversation across the aisle or over the wall. But strict adherence to these rules was not maintained. Some of the quotes will seem to make no sense at all and these have been preserved simply because they are absurd or puzzling or they perpetuate a nostalgia. Many of the quotes are only humorous in the context of my particular aerospace engineering world and it is to that audience that this book is mainly addressed. Roger Corson
Five times zero is still zero.
Birds don't get pregnant.
A person is more important than the
Shuttle.
I'm so poor I can't even afford to
go window shopping.
He who laughs at himself laughs best.
Smokers are latent pyromaniacs.
Dead plants don't deserve decent burials.
Charity is love in action.
The ancient Hindus were real big on
continued fractions.
If you have a ball of green cheese
rolling down a hill, its a peculiar problem.
Everybody can't be on the bottom of
an organization.
Chickens cackle logarithmically.
You can't clave automatically without
an autoclave.
You can't boogie unless you have money.
A new policy is born every five minutes.
A little knowledge never hurt anybody.
The longer you program the more paranoid
you get.
Europe is a pretty big country.
All good mummies die in the swamp.
There aren't many tall shortstops.
I've never met a dancing angel.
Nobody likes anchovies.
Nothing gets crunchy in a microwave
oven.
Mucilage is good but sticky.
I want to be a cantaloupe.
There are a lot of things you can do
at four o'clock in the morning.
There is no such thing as a constant
constant.
A girl's plumbing is inefficient.
The most important thing an engineer
can do is evaluate complicated functions.
You're not ugly if you can't help it.
You can wash your hands but you can
never wash your steering wheel.
Books are for marking in.
Thievery is mean.
Purgatory is Catholic priest job security.
A hurricane is kind of like a FSSR.
Picking your nose is ugly.
Mountain climbers don't live long.
Data bases and sweaters are at a premium.
Extreme viewpoints are always wrong.
Raising kids is good experience for
writing FSSRs.
The sun don't shine on the same dog
every day.
North doesn't change during the day.
Unit vectors don't have units.
Anything hairy is beautiful.
When I get a little drunk, I'm pretty
good.
A little bit of knowledge is dangerous.
Symmetry is not important in Christmas
trees.
Don't build your dog house in the shape
of a pyramid.
Imagine if snake oil cured cancer.
God doesn't make anybody do anything.
Used car dealers don't have very many
friends.
You eat dead bug eggs every day of
your life.
You're really eating live bug eggs
if you don't cook your cereal.
There's no Moses in the Bible, only
Abraham, Noah, and the Garden of Eden.
Sym prints are God's gift to man.
Bad card players never bluff.
There's nothing romantic about a dirty
sock.
If it wasn't for the sun you wouldn't
be here.
Garlic comes out in sweat.
Secret information is never secret.
If God were a FSSR writer he would
have sticky-backed the stars in the heavens.
There's a lot of meat on a horse.
Nobody ever gets killed on Walt Disney.
Long and wide are not the same thing.
Dogs don't dig in compost piles.
You can always sit on your speaker
but you can't listen to a chair.
Murder is something criminals do.
The right to the pursuit of happiness
is not the right to catch it.
Every airfield has power lines.
I've never seen a man with pretty handwriting.
Computers are made to serve.
One child substitute is enough.
Things won't be like this when we get
to Heaven.
AM and PM are open intervals.
Sleeping is habit-forming.
If you've got a camera in your hand,
you've got a licence to be eccentric.
Progress reports are our most important
product.
Bone is a viscous fluid.
You can't put a Band-Aid on a fly.
Theory Y does not work in the army.
Lunch is where your sandwich is.
Carbohydrates don't hurt you on the
weekends.
Nothing can go at infinite speed.
Nothing is everything.
Hardware is a computer made out of
metal; software is a computer made out of bubble gum.
Plants have redundant leaves.
There's no such thing as a good way
to kill yourself.
A true Christian could never work for
McDonnell Douglas.
I wonder if God ever backspaces and
rewrites the universe.
The universe is a stochastic process.
You can't really see chords.
Fruit is pregnant flowers.
I'm not anti-male; I'm just pro-female.
I think if you're going to be consistent,
you ought to be consistent all the time.
Everybody's father hates ice cream
truck drivers.
Schmeckpeper is surrounded by a probability
field which alters the laws of chance; in other words, Schmeckpeper is
a probability magnet.
Ignorance is bliss; that's why I'm
so happy.
Winter is that period in Houston when
the outside temperature is comfortable.
Some people think that just because
it has inertia, it's real.
I'm partial to blondes in 'vettes.
Electrons don't stick to Scotch tape.
Quasimoto believes in hunches.
The problem is that we don't understand
the problem.
Pressure brings out the talent in me.
Monday is a Rosemary day.
It seems that every car I ever bought
I've had to tow home.
I think the key to the whole thing
is the curds and whey.
The end result of any absurd conversation
is a quote.
What's so absurd about the technology
of whales?
I'm not fast, I'm just eager.
Cheap is as cheap does.
I have a neat buckle that I don't wear
because it has a naked lady on it.
It's very important to process words.
Man was made to suffer.
Crummy is in the mind of the beholder.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies
like a banana.
There's a difference between being
stubborn and being right.
We seem to be made to suffer; it's
our lot in life.
Negative one by itself is kind of strange.
One should reward one's own best efforts.
Time is nature's way of keeping everything
from happening at once.
Death is nature's way of telling you
to slow down.
When in doubt, mumble. When you're
wrong, shout.
Big vortices give birth to small vortices.
Barns are a good thing to photograph.
Most old ladies are mean.
If you forget to flare, God won't help
you.
Zeros can be monkey wrenches sometimes.
If you don't turn it on, you can't
break it.
I never met a FSSR I didn't write.
We can handle a minus sign.
It's rough to outrun an avalanche.
Oats itch.
I spend in spurts.
Most spend in dollars.
A spurt's worth more.
A good Christian always blames natural
disasters on Mother Nature, rather than God Himself.
I don't serve on Tiger Teams.
I like hardware stores.
I don't like living in a straight line.
I don't get on a last name basis with
women.
Gravity doesn't change sign when you
go backwards.
Every piece of rock that sticks up
out of the ocean has people on it.
You don't bluff at nickel-dime stuff.
I used to do good things on roller
skates when I was a kid.
You can't spit tobacco in a space suit.
You lose points for getting killed.
All days around here are equally bad.
I've never seen a sick astronaut.
I never met a differential equation
I could solve.
If you're invited to the hunt, you
ought to stay for the kill.
There's a lot of splashing when a hog
washes.
You can't quit me; I'm fired.
My mind is only as sharp as my pencil.
"Picked up" is a very loose term.
Guppies are the rabbits of the water
world.
The world looks much more exact when
your glasses are clean.
Some people don't appreciate landing
lights.
You can make a barn door fly if you
put an engine big enough on it.
Let's face it - we're just aerospace
groupies.
I'd better stop talking; I've said
all I know.
I think sitting on top of a 747 is
precarious.
You should never get married until
you can't talk yourself out of it.
There comes a time in your life when
you want to see what you look like in miniature.
The early bird who gets the worm works
for someone who comes in late and owns the worm farm.
The earth is a perfect sphere when
you're in the third grade.
Portuguese is Spanish spoken by a drunken
Frenchman.
If it's finite today, it couldn't have
been infinite yesterday.
Scruples are what you scrape up off
the floor after you've eaten cookies.
All the ignorance in engineering is
concentrated around a few coefficients.
Being upset with IBM is like being
upset with the weather.
Cantaloupe smoothies are really good.
I'm allowed only so many calories;
I'd rather drink them than eat them.
I'd give anything to have a dull Saturday.
Nothing's perfect - like in avocados,
they made the pits too big.
TV is like a pornographic movie with
all the pornography taken out.
Two can live as cheaply as the wife
lived before the marriage.
Life is an entropy pump.
You never know that you know all the
answers.
I went to a restaurant one time that
had all the catfish you can eat and I ate all the catfish they had.
If [the crewmen] can't hear or they
can't breathe they'll probably do something about it.
I never did anything with positrons.
Truth has nothing to do with reality.
Where there's a will there's a way
out.
If it isn't simple it's wrong.
The requirement ought to reflect the
implementation.
Nobody can take a subject and beat
it to death like Task A.
Necktie Quotes Can I borrow that?
Your necktie's on fire.
You took a perfectly good shirt and
made a tie out of it.
Silence is my favorite noise. ~ Frank Kittle How can anyone sing in public.
If it don't whistle, it ain't wassail.
The closer you get to a short person,
the taller they look.
The problem with working in [Redundancy
Management] is that you have to ask a question three times before you get
an answer.
The first rule of thumb about NASA
I-loads is: Logic does not prevail.
Everybody's talking so abstractly that
I can't figure out what they're saying.
Definition of Operations Research:
Determination of a best solution from insufficient and imperfect data.
One criterion for being an OR guy is
you have to be weak in mathematics.
Pork chops à la mode.
There is no cause so noble that idiots
will not adhere to it.
There's no good ground functions.
We can keep a secret. It's the people
we tell that can't keep a secret.
You can't start a new civilization
in zero gee.
You know your having fun when you've
got balloons.
It's easier to seek forgiveness than
permission.
'Himicanes' are not as bad as 'hericanes'.
...to boldly split infinitives that
no man had split before...
There's no way that I'll fly on something
that has it's flight control system written in LISP.
I have found as I grow older, that
communications personnel are the hardest people to communicate with.
Blackberries are red when they're green.
We demand rigidly defined areas of
doubt and uncertainty.
Figures never lie but liars never figure.
People can't continue to be stupid
forever.
You need some people that are willing
to do anything.
Real programmers don't comment their
code. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.
If you can't rely on a fifteen year
old program that was designed by the foremost authority on optimization,
then what can you rely on?
Everyone ought to get a yearly physical
at least once every five years.
Whether your analysis is relevant or
not is irrelevant.
I'm paranoid; but am I paranoid enough?
You can't learn from your mistakes
if you never made any.
Don't forget that you don't want to
remember everything you know when you write proposals.
None of it's original - except the
errors.
You have to make sure you misunderstand
it correctly.
Backup nav is for retrograde orbits.
If I were two-faced, would I be using
this one?
In all the world there are two kinds
of people. There are those who think there are two kinds of people, and
there are those who don't.
Nobody can be wrong all of the time.
Even a clock that doesn't go is right twice a day.
Entertainment is a thing of the past
- today we've got television.
Plagiarism is the sincerest form of
flattery
Efficiency is concerned with doing
things right. Effectiveness is concerned with doing the right thing.
You don't worry about ROI when you
don't have any work.
Mythical decision making.
It's impossible to drive a car and
not sin.
We're going to convert to metric -
inch by inch.
While Congress fiddles, NASA burns.
Anytime TMIS helps us we have problems.
It's like dragging out a guillotine
and saying, "We're going to chop bananas."
Our concepts are more advanced than
the Russian's hardware.
Treat engineers as a resource instead
of a cost.
The secret of the universe is a good
second-order equation.
Asking is just polite demanding.
We are not the experts, but we know
more about it than anybody.
The universe is simply one of those
things that happens from time to time.
I don't trust people who wear pajamas.
The difference between genius and stupidity
is that genius has it's limits.
I never think of a manager needing
any skills.
Recompilation is just nature's way
of telling you that your design was wrong in the first place.
We need doers, not thinkers.
UNIX is for hackers that don't have
any important analysis to do.
Orville and Wilbur had the "Wright
Stuff."
Hofstader's Law
I know what we're supposed to be doing,
but what are we supposed to accomplish?
I wonder what you dream when your dead?
...empirical silliness...
I'm so frustrated; I feel like a chicken
trying to dig a worm out of a rock.
Young people tend to believe they will
live forever. You can see that in the way teenagers drive.
An engineer's work is never done; mainly
because he never does it.
I'm too lazy to figure out the easy
way.
...he will commit posthumous suicide
yesterday.
Show business is like high school with
money.
Where there's a will there's a work
around.
AASC is a hobby shop.
They got no business having an opinion;
that's my opinion.
Don't worry; be stupid.
Live your life so that on Judgment
Day you'll be called for jury duty.
A woman's disposition is an exponentially
correlated random variable with a short time constant.
He's a good guy; he knows what he doesn't
know.
Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes
out the trees, then names the streets after them.
I got so many non-laughing matters.
I like to think of myself as the Sam
Malone of Rocket Scientists.
Buzzword oriented programming can only
be supported by a strongly hyped language.
It's nice to know I can get a little
help from my panty hose when I need it.
If it's there, I'm going to stare.
Pictures tear, I'd rather stare.
Iterators are an intrusion of the implementation
on the abstraction.
Girls are like that - they think they're
flirting and they're just being dumb.
My life keeps getting in the way of
my future.
I started this job two weeks ago and
I'm already three weeks behind.
I'm getting my master's in math to
improve my quality of life.
It's all right for me to have a bad
attitude.
I don't think anyone knows what Butch
thinks.
It's hard being an over achiever.
You've breathed the rarefied air of
higher mathematics.
You are amazed at all the things you
know which are not on the examination paper.
One goes to college to learn, it seems,
not to think.
Brandt, you're always fantasizing about
being a sniper.
Once you get burned, you don't get
too close to the flame anymore.
What year is going to go down in history?
The Space Station Freedom will be the
center of the universe.
CIDSC II, The Wrath of Pam
Oh, count the ways I've erred!
Brandt knows all about stuff that can
kill people.
Why think about it if you don't have
to.
Huh!
I can't wear turquoise; it doesn't
go with my eyes.
Rampant copyright infringement is the
sincerest form of flattery.
It's okay to be absent minded, as long
as your mind isn't absent.
I got this feeling that there are some
people that are smarter than me.
Live fast, die young, and leave a good
looking corpse.
That's like brain candy.
Every once in a while, I know what
I'm talking about.
Please don't tell my mother that I
work for Level II; she thinks I play the piano in a whorehouse.
There's nothing like a pair of well
parametrized catenaries.
The introduction of suitable abstractions
is our only mental aid to organize and master complexity.
I'm not that big on maturity; the ultimate
maturity is the grave.
Women are hormonally deranged.
A monocoque piece of caramel.
Butch has been known to exaggerate.
And that is an understatement.
Millions of persons long for immortality
who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy afternoon.
Just because everything is different
doesn't mean that anything has changed.
If error is corrected whenever it is
recognized as such, the path of error is the path of truth.
I'm not afraid of being scared.
Look before you lick.
Testing is for people who make mistakes
the first time.
I really stunk at Bingo yesterday!
DID du jour
Mike's time scale is that of a tree;
mine is like a shrew's. If I don't consume my own body weight every forty-five
minutes I'll die.
I don't want to over generalize this
to the point of abstract nausea.
I was just trying to play John McLaughlin;
don't mess with my fantasies, man.
The Rational is not our customer!
Sometimes this place feels like a sitcom.
I need to be more like [my dad]; I'd
save money and brain cells.
There's no requirement to be prudent.
Some people are more perceptive of
their environment than I am.
Really! You're getting married! To
what?
It must have been mutant day at PharMor.
I strive to be the moral voice of this
group.
It's better to be busy than not.
I want that in needlepoint.
Quite frankly, all the benefits of
Structured Analysis are currently hidden because of all the problems with
the document.
Document everything you write.
The Lie is true.
Maybe if they straighten out a few
deck chairs, the ship won't sink.
I don't like people trying to solve
problems with non-solutions.
When you sit with a nice girl for two
hours you think it's only a minute. But when you sit on a hot stove for
a minute you think it's two hours. That's relativity.
Planning and hard work tend to make
people lucky.
The corporate Strategic Business Objective
is to win the Malcombe Baldridge award.
You can't let inertia stop progress.
A cubic light year is a pretty big
volume.
We can't work the FSSR for the rest
of our lives.
Chicks are stupid; chicks shouldn't
be allowed to work in engineering.
The probability of someone watching
you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
We were there until we left.
Does it have a mouse?
Optimism is a mania for maintaining
all is well when things are going badly.
How come we keep having these breakthroughs
in science that teach us what we can't do?
Man must rise above the earth - to
the top of the atmosphere and beyond - for only thus will he fully understand
the world in which he lives.
I probably rate myself higher than
anyone else.
There is no such thing as "too much
work" when your wife is planning your day.
Here come da scrub! Here come da scrub!
Particle board is the bologna of lumber.
Just before Fairchild went out of business,
Honeywell decided not to merge with them because the new company would
have been called Fairwell Honeychild.
Theatre is life
Emotionally, cats are a low maintenance
animal.
I wish that the rest of the program
would quit making us look good.
When people lose their jobs, it causes
unemployment.
You can count the top five teams in
America on one hand.
This is 100% half-baked!
We're building tomorrow's space station
with yesterday's technology.
When it's right, it's beautiful; when
it's beautiful, it's not necessarily right.
AIMS users are at the bottom of the
barrel as far as I'm concerned.
I really believe that people who have
no stress or tension are not really there.
My dad always used to tell me, "I'd
rather be rich and healthy than poor and sick."
I was proud to be able to answer the
question quickly and accurately. I said, "I don't know."
I'm not saying how long it would take
IBM to code, but it would take an engineer a half a day.
It's so clear you can see all the pollution.
You have to be the right kind of person
to go and bayonet people.
Finding Level II work that is meaningful
is the greatest challenge I've ever had.
It's always oppressed people that are
taken advantage of.
We are too low on the food chain to
exploit people; all that's left for us is animals!
I think we can implement it, but I
don't think it will look anything like what's written in the FSSR.
There's a sound for every mood.
Is the speed of Bob a universal constant?
Nothing can go faster than the speed
of Bob.
If this was the real world there would
be about seventy percent attrition!
When you're surrounded by incompetence
you can develop an attitude problem very easily.
We had to play "Wink 'Um" at school
today and we had to wink at boys; it was so disgusting!
Yes we have to worry about the economy.
But in doing so we also need to worry about the engine that pulls that
economy - technology.
The road to the moon is not a road
to nowhere; it is a road to infinity.
A wingless Orbiter is not gonna fly.
Doesn't Brandt know that he can't start
a fight until Mike gets here?
In Russia, you don't have to be a nerd
to play chess in the park.
There's a fine line between healthy
self-esteem and delusions of grandeur.
This left handed [quaternion] thing
is like David Koresh is to religion.
Duress always brings out eloquence.
If the number of imaginary sheep in
this world remains a matter of guesswork, who is richer or poorer for it?
The scientist explores what is, the
engineer creates what has not been.
You can be young, or you can be wise,
but not both!
The problem with 'they' on this program
is we never know who 'they' are.
Some people think that the Space Station
program is just a hood ornament for the country.
Middle age is when you know all the
answers and nobody ever asks you the questions.
I think we'd get a lot more done if
we had less to do.
America now has a political soap opera
masquerading as a space program.
The best way for men and women to live
together is for them to spend a lot of time apart.
Burglaries have become so frequent,
is it quite safe to leave the Golden Rule out over night?
If it hoses, so be it.
I like to pick on Mike; picking on
Mike is like pouring water on a duck.
Let's not confuse reality with the
needs of the few.
The light at the end of the tunnel
is a train.
Real men swallow their snuff
On approach to assigned target of the
day, formation lead ship took a direct hit from an 88 mm round in the main
upper fuselage fuel tank. The main wing spars buckled upon ignition of
the fuel with complete wing failure. No parachutes were seen, no crew survived.
Aircraft 501215 which had flown many missions and survived many perils
is stricken from the record.
I'd like a job where people love me
- preferably not in the porno business.
That piece of junk the Russians have
in orbit is nothing compared to what we have charts for.
It has been my experience that folks
who have no vices have very few virtues.
To argue for space [exploration] is
a poetic endeavor, not a logical one.
It's real easy to be done when you
don't know what you are doing.
"Andy, Andy! Wake up! You were having
a bad dream."
When the only tool you own is a hammer,
every problem begins to resemble a nail.
There are two major products to come
out of Berekley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence.
Never, EVER, date a woman you can hear
ticking.
Don't worry about avoiding temptation.
As you grow older, it will avoid you.
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja
vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.
Kalman filtering is a technique for
minimizing the difference between where you want to be and where you aren't
by making redundant measurements between another place where you aren't
and where you think you are.
Someday, I've got to stop procrastinating.
Sloppy writing is a confession of disrespect
for the reader.
Progress might have been all right
once, but it's gone on too long.
Of course, E=mc^2 may just be a local
phenomenon.
I used to get stars for not doing something
bad. Absence of bad, in my case, is something good.
This program's getting crazier by the
minute; I wish I had 85 points.
A fool with a tool is still a fool.
This is a table that weighs 4,000 pounds;
it doesn't move.
It's amazing how much it simplifies
your life to have your whole hard disk wiped clean.
He was a creationist-for God's sake!
It's ironic how ironic irony can be.
There are things in the world a man
does well to carry to extremes.
The test site will be where the survey
marker is and it is marked with a red 'N' or 'Z', depending on how you
look at it.
It's a rocky road to the moon, despite
the vacuum.
I daydream about the night all the
lawyers are killed.
Around here we play fast and loose
with our Central Limit Theorem
You don't live longer by eating well;
it just seems like it because it's so boring.
I think I've figured out love; it's
a chemical reaction.
Nostalgia's not what it used to be.
We're approaching the time when we
need to make some decisions.
I've figured out that I'm tall from
the butt up.
We should start a pessimists club.
If you're going to shove it down someone's
throat, you need to make it taste good.
The first law of holes is: when you
find yourself in one stop digging.
A hotel is a place that keeps the manufacturers
of 25-watt bulbs in business.
I'm desperately trying to figure out
why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
The Human Race is at war. Our enemy
is ignorance, pure and simple.
Why do we say 'www'? Do you realize
how many syllables that is?
Is there another word for synonym?
The only thing worse than a project
that doesn't get off the ground is one that comes falling back to earth.
Our software architecture is a function
of our cubicle layout.
If it ain't broke; don't break it.
It's never too late to do the right
thing.
You have to minimize the distance between
associated concerns.
Thank God for l'Hôpital's rule.
Your imagination is your preview of
life's coming attractions.
If you think advertising doesn't work
- consider the millions of Americans who now think that yogurt tastes good.
The spell-checker is hear two stay.
When I found the skull in the woods,
the first thing I did was call the police. But then I got curious about
it. I picked it up, and started wondering who this person was, and why
he had deer horns.
I'd rather use a Pee Sea than Matrix
X.
Working here is like cooking scrambled
eggs on a charcoal grill.
I feel intrinsically worthwhile.
It's weird that the only thing we have
in common is someone we've never met!
Denial is how an optimist keeps from
becoming a pessimist.
When you're tilting at windmills, it
doesn't matter which ones you tilt at.
Only two things are infinite, the universe
and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite
things?
It's better to be lucky than good.
The oblique obtrusiveness of obtuse remarks on obliquity obligate me to obtrude, not to objurgate. Nonetheless, your obloquy of this obdurate subject obfuscates. Objectively the obvious is my obsessional oblation - surely this is not an obscenity. Further,
being oblivious to obscurity ensures oblivion is the obverse. But, yea,
ye wouldst introduce "uncertainty", an obstructive obstacle in my understanding.
I have been made to feel obsolete, but still yet obstinately obstreperous.
[signed] Your obeisant observer of obliquity,
I did not buy a computer to learn computing
anymore than I bought a refrigerator to learn refrigeration.
That guy pumped a lot of negative energy.
The problem is that our code almost always works.
Success never happens.
I'd never traveled with mousse before.
If you want to make your software idiot proof, you should hire idiots
to test it.
My wife likes me the way I am; I'm a chick repellant..
I would be such a great multimillionaire.
I don't think I'll ever figure out the fine line between being heroes and being dogs hunted in the street.
I'm prone to doing dorky stuff.
I admire us.
My opinion is better than anyone elses because my opinion is correct.
It's real easy to diet. There's only one rule: if it tastes good, spit it out.
I'm thinking out loud and I shouldn't be.
Don't they understand we're trying to troubleshoot? We found some trouble, now we're gonna shoot it!
I was supposed to go to ISIL this time, but fortunately I was in the hospital instead.
My son is a business major and he doesn't even do his own taxes.
Susan, this is real life; this isn't a PhD experiment.
I'm not that unflappable.
It's kind of hard to do 1000 things right every day.
I love deadlines. I love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
Are Chinese midgets smaller than Caucasian midgets?
[The SIGI] isn't a handheld GPS for hiking the galaxy.
You're making fun of me without doing the research.
I love 1553.
Minimize the ad hocness.
The end justifies the meme.
What's the ballistic coefficient of a pop singer?
We get meeting notices; those are not invitations.
I'm good at drinking water.
I made a mistake once.
The man with no name is a misnomer.
Anything that grows sideways is a weed.
I'm not good at drinking water.
Has somebody been kissing my arm?
It's not nice to shoot the messenger but it's okay to shoot the devil's advocate.
You shouldn't be so open minded that your brains fall out.
I don't like the word untestable.
I shall not bleat.
You don't say chick peas; you say woman peas.
I had practice working for people who don't care about quality, and I learned how to sneak it in.
Who are these two women, Ivy and Vee?
Michael Vaughn: Where do they keep the nation's gold?
People who actually have brain cells are an oppressed minority.
Nathan Harris: Okay, I'll be the first to admit it. I'm an idiot.
The purpose of change control boards is to prevent changes.
E-mail's good; it's asynchronous.
Sometimes in our stressful environment we confuse our dreams with reality.
Process is the hole not the donut.
Process impedes progress.
I used to think that the human brain was the most fascinating part of the body. Then I thought, "What part of my body is telling me that?"
One trend that bothers me is the glorification of stupidity, that it's
all right not to know anything.
The space station has been around the Earth 50,000 times. It's not
exploring space.
'Successful' people take more out of life than they put into it, 'people
of value' put more into life than they take out of it. |